time to get down to the nitty gritty...

Havent seen my blog in a week or so and didnt realised that i had so many comments ...didnt realise that people actually read my blog...wheeee!!! ppl actually read what i write...not bad for starters...

Anyhows, been really busy and will be absolutely packed this week. Have an assignment due on friday, test tomorrow, test friday, small part of project presentation thingi on thursday...all in all...wish me luck!!!

still having a big dilemma now!!! get the camera or not? for 1000 AUD...i guess i would use it quite a bit as i reli do have the passion for taking photos i guess....but...1000 is quite a bit of money even if it means savin RM1000 if i bought a new one in malaysia. Besides, after getting the camera i still need to get the bag etc and accesories....gonna make me totally broke!!!

Holidays are coming up soon....dont reli know what to do ...guess ill head down to torquay for a bit with sugat to visit azz and james...might go to sydney or gold coast if the tickets are cheap and if i do get the camera....and theres some house boat thing going on at echuka? Help me out? i actually think i might have the option of going home..but nah....dont feel like it...planning to have 1 week of holiday and the other week to work on my project due in week 10!!!
so yeah..thats it now....

To all the readers...thanks for your support...your comments really help....!!!Thank You...

Now i run...

as most of you would know by now...my dad was here last weekend...It was indeed an awful 5 days for me...getting lectured constantly...but i guess ive been used to it as ive been getting it since i was about...14 or 15 years old...well...i got it much earlier than that but it was this age where the lectures started getting longer and longer...

So yeah...dad was here to check on me and make sure that im doing alright in my uni. Which i think i am...i hope i am..as this semester...there aint no turning back...

dad wrote me something...'key performance indicator' for this current semester...and in it...i have to :

-reduce all bday party to 0
-reduce IH duty to 0
-reduce socializin in IH to once a week
-only one outing to the city a week
-reduce idle talk to 0
-increase private study to 6 hours a day
-interact with IS students daily
-have tuitions
-report home once a week

If you dont believe this you can come up to my room and have a look at the paper in which he wrote it in...

Kim looked at it...and she said "if i had to do this...ill die"

Pretty sure if any of you had to go through my dads lecture...it will eventually drive you insane...

Dad also said that i should take down all the photos in my room as it is a visual distraction...i should onli put up a photo of him and my mum to remind me of them and so it will make me consciencely work hard this semester...

I dont know...guess my dad is being too anal about me failing and all..Yes i do know it is my fault...but i guess he doesnt know the true reason why i failed.... which is...

-NOT ATTENDING CLASSES

in my dads eyes ...i did attend my classes and actually did work...but prob not enuff....so i guess he thinks that i reli need to try all my might .....but seriously...a H1 student wouldnt even have a routine as prescribe as my dad....

I dont know..of course i take all he has to say...but i just think that its reli bull shit...
i agree with the whole...cut down on social activities..but to 0...come on...everyone knows that impossible for me...or for anyone...thats just ridiculous...
the photos are another thing..i dun look at them when im studying as its at the back wall....i just need em...as i feel like it makes my room much more...roomier...or ...lived in...makes it feel much more homely...and there is a reason why i put up photos in my room...

it reminds me of the friends that i have and the friends that are there to help me when im in need...and the friends that i know want me to do well in my studies...

prob what harvard said was true " eddie..you so insecure ah...have to stick all the photos of you with your friends to show ppl that you actually have friends"

Prob its true...but yeah..it still works for me...so all in all..i guess i do take in what my dad said..but i think its too extreme..and its reli stressin at times when he lectures you ..over and over again...over the same issue..using the same points....and longs lectures with that..hours and hours.....

It is up till then that i realised...one of the biggest reason why i always start smoking again...one of the biggest stress of my life..or actually..the biggest stress of my life...is from my dad....

I guess im just annoyed at myself...that i havent been able to fulfil what my dad wanted me to do...

and im not reachin my full potential...no...no where near that...

just stress as i know my mum is getting shit from my dad couz im turning out a failure..

Just stressin couz i live a life quite different from everyone else....

a protected life...without much freedom at all...

a life where i dont get to go on holiday with my friends....

couz my dad will always say he might be coming and i have to wait and see whether he comes...

which in the end....he DOESNT....

a life where i just keep waiting...im totally dependant on my dad..and cant do anything until he says its okay...

that i cant go out unless he is not at home..or have gone to bed...

or i have to wake up for brekkie at 745 am each morning...

should be back around 5 in the afternoon just in case he wants to excercise...

just stress at how i can have this life even though im 20 years old this year...

just stressin...why i cant lead my own life...

In the end...what my dad always say has some meaning to it...and as much as i hate it... i have to face reality and that he is actually right....all the time...

so yeah..i realise what i have done..and i guess i hope that ill be able to turn it around this semester and this whole life of mine...

guess after all...he is my dad...and i respect him....

As this song by shannon noll titled "now i run" goes:
Cause everything that I am
Comes from a better man
And all that Ive said and done
Cant rewrite my history
Right there for all to see
Im just my fathers son
Taught me to walk, now I run
Now I run...

and i hope that i become
half the man he'd want me to be...

updatez...
its been a while...Malaysia was good...highlight of my holidays would definitely be the langkawi trip and jenny making her way down. Had lots of fun...didnt have to work this time around...couz jenny stayed over for a week and she was my pass to go out and have fun...took her around...tried lots of diff food...well...her...not me...and yeah...went to langkawi with viv, sarah...gretch, kenny, mabel, pat and jenny!

It didnt cost much at all..accomodation was free...just had to pay for food...air fare...car rental and last ...but not least...alchomohol!!! alc was so cheap there that a beer would be a cheaper choice than a bottle of mineral water. Went to a couple of the beaches...really nice...sneaked into the four seasons hotel and got paranoid that the security guard was out to catch us all...drank till we got drunk off our tits....thats how holiday is meant to be...

The four seasons hotel...wish my house was like that...

'Give me Angry' pose with Sarah
Gretch, viv I and jenny at Sheraton hotel...
Tannin at tanjung rhu beach...got stung by jelly fish..
All of us at four seasons hotel...this pic was taken by the towel boy...and werent even guest in the hotels...he even offered us towels and mineral water...
pantai cenang...
Jenny and I...miss ya lots!!!



Came home to face reality...failed 3 subs...big big time...had to come back to Aus asap to see the board of unsatisfactory progress...almost got kicked out of uni..but for some reason..im still in...only allowed to do 3 subs though...ah well...

IH is going alrite...metting yet a new bunch of ppl....have to say the americans this semester are a much better bunch.. really good bunch of freshers we have this semester. booze cruise was good ass...got drunk...went down flinders st screaming...mahai...me drunk man along the way...stupid bartender not using the shot pourer while filling up drinks with 2 shots of spirit instead of one....was quite fun seeing so many ppl spew along the way...

Da boyz
Pink rules
Me,Kim,Ronny and Val
Da real Phat Parkes and Korean will(Sandy's brother)



cant say much myself though...went to viv...izz and chris bbq birthday lamb spit thingi the next week..and got absolutely smashed...on my defence..i was sick and weak!!!on medication as well!! Dad was visiting..definitely not a good sign...went to izz chris and viv's b day lamb spit party thingi...got totally wasted...spewed on the garage of my aunts place...actually had a plan...i was meant to be there for only 3 hours since my dad was here ...so it was going to be from 5.30 to 8.30. told everyone that they have to remind me to take a shower at 8.15 so i dont smell like smoke and gives me time to sober up...took a shower then...brush my teeth...listerine with that as well...sprayed perfume....drank lots of water to try to sober up...i was alrite till the 30 minutes messed up drive back to my aunts place...too much turnin...anyways..i spewed...and my dad saw...told him it was because i was feeling really ill and had tummy upsets and was really weak!!!he bought it ...i think...well..lets assume he did....

The Johnnie Fraternity


What else is there to mention...winters dinner went well...took 81 photos in total...so thats always a good sign that i still have friends...hahaha!went to the pub after that and saw countless ppl making out...damn those ppl!!!What about me...it isnt fair...i had enuff now i want my share...man..think im getting a lil too desperate for my own liking...

American exchange Joyce and I
just realised the other day that i didnt have a photo with damien for some reason...so yeah....makin up for lost times!!!
Mel, Em, Maddie and I
England exchange shiv...
the three stooges....
lil Jo...
Beyonce and Usher...
Grace and Joe...


Schools going alrite....attending most of my classes at the moment....actually know what im meant to do ...actually know the hurdle requirement and meeting them...plannin to try to do well this semester for once...wish me luck...not attending 100 percent of my classes..but definitely close to it..and the biggest diff rite now is...that im actually...doing alrite...that im trying to keep up with work and not wait till assignment period or swotvac to try to do everything at once...

Dads was here..left last nite...gave me constant lectures that are really got on my nerves! but ah well...Got so much work to do though...assignments due next week!!! wanna clean up my room...wanna develope all the photos form scholars....langkawi and stuff to stick on my wall...have to do my 4 loads of laundry...tidy everything up ...and focus....focus on my work ...

As for smokin...dont know..not givin out promises...just trying to do the best i can in trying to stop and lets see how we go alrite!!!

so yeah..thats basicaly my whole life the past month in a nutshell..things going alrite i reckon..and will keep in touch and update this blog more often than not....