The past...
For some reason or another, ive always been a person who reflects on the past. Whether im weird or not, couz i dont think lots of ppl do that. Well, everyone thinks about the past in someway or another, but probably not as deep as i do at times.

Reason why im blogging about this was...i was chatting with a friend yesterday, and that friend was just telling me about some of the things that didnt go his/her way even though he/ she tried his/her very best to get it. It is quite sad to hear at times that things happen to ppl who actually try really hard, cause i really do know that this friend of mine do try really hard, and i know that he/she has always dreamt of his/her dreams his/her whole entire life. And im 100 % sure he/ she deserved it more than a quarter of the ppl who actually got to realise the dream that he/she wanted.

I guess at times...things just dont go your way. as one might say ' SHIT HAPPENS ', you cant do much about it. Or as Agent smith from matrix would say, "its inevitable". What im trying to say is that, as hard as you may try at times, as much as you know that you are up there, as close as you are from your goal, you might just not get it at times. The world is not always fair, its not perfect...if it was...there wouldnt be ppl dying from starvation in places like cambodia etc....Okay, its quite easy to say SHIT HAPPENS, but when a person actually tries really hard and dont get what he/ she wants, its really demoralizing and demotivated (if thats even a word, doubt it). I dont know, i dont think i have felt it many times throughout my life, couz i never really do try as much as i would like to think i have, but one small time i could remember would be at my 1st basketball tournament. We had trained for more than a year, 5 hours each saturday, and 5 hours on monday, wednesday, friday and saturday during the holidays, and yet we lost in the quarter finals, to the team that won the tournament...by 1 point...we lost by 1 point. Isnt as tragic but when you get to know that my team was actually down by 15 points at half time, and we pushed our way through, point by point, and we actually held the other team scoreless in the 2nd half, but then again...we lost...by a point.Our one whole years efforts...down the drain...or is it?

Okay,know my basketball story isnt the best of examples, but im pretty sure it qualifies as an example too right?What im trying to get to now is that...well, you dont always win...but you would definitely get something....some sort of consolation out of it. For me, i got to learn how to play basketball...and became one of the better 3 point shooters in my school,if not..the best at some point or another, i also learnt that even though i was reli reli fat at that time, that im still able to play sports. I know your going all"WTH, of course fat ppl can play sports"...but let me ask you something, how many fat ppl actually do try to play sports, and by playin sports, i mean...trying out for teams..going through some tough training...I guess i managed to learn that...even though im fat...i can still take all the training...even though it wears me out even more...but im realy happy to say that even though im fat...im considerable good at sports...not the best in any...but definitely quite alrite in all!!!Okay...think i got off topic...basicaly, one might not realise their dreams even though effort has been put into, but definite...will have some sort of consolation. As for my friend, i would like to think that he/she still got what he/she wanted....just in a different way...one that he/she might not like...but still..the dream is still there...and its realised.

I dont know...for some reason...ive always been a person that thinks about the past very very very often. I dont know why though...couz my past has sorta been filled with regrets, though..filled with luck. I guess ive been lucky all my life. The fact that my family is financially stable would mean a great deal of comfortness added into my life. Study wise, ive never been the smart one, nor have i been the hardworking one. i have never tried hard at anything, but somehow results were alrite for me...esp for eng and maths, where i aced those subs all the way to form 3 without having to do much work at all. As for the rest of my subs....i sucked at it mainly for one reason...i never studied. Things changed a lil when i came over, studied more than back home...but still not enough. And yet, i got a reasonable enter score for my efforts of 88.05. Though i didnt get into commerce which was what i wanted, i got into information systems in melb uni...which was good too. Though i have to say my luck has sorta ran out...finally woke up from my 19 years of dreaming..as i failed my subs...and have to re do them in summer. As for regrets, ive always hated myself for not trying as hard as i could at some things, regret on how i lived my life...how i did somethings that i shouldnt have done, how i have wasted my whole life being a slack ass...And of course look back on set backs with things like..parents not being the friendliest couples ever, how my 1st relationship didnt quite work out the way it would be etc...

One will most definitely think about the past at some point or another. It will always bring you laughter and tears i guess. For me, i would always have memories of the torturous yet fun basketball training with my best pal Anton and the evil neighbour coach i have sookeong.Or my relationship with my ex, And who will forget the silly silly things that me and my best mate over here in high school izzaz would do, things like shitting on each others table, peeing in a water bottle and offering each others that bottle saying its a fizzy drink. The times we spent watching Steve o from jack ass stapling his balls to his thigh. OUCH!!! or the johnnie nites where we all got pissed drunk , playing stupid drinking games!!!Or times where me and my sneaker buddies will just go to footlocker every week to check out on shoes...and how surprisingly we will all want to buy the same shoes. I know if i want to, this can go on forever...the list of good memories is never ending.But think bt some bad memories, mistakes i had...wont dwell on that...but im pretty sure your getting the gist of it.

Even as im blogging right now, im listening to Boyz II Men...absolutely classic...haha!

To sum it all up...all i can say is that...its totally fine to think about the past. Couz the past is what makes us who we are right now...the present.And as your unhappiness about the past...life has to go on sooner or later. Like robbie williams song "you win some...you lose some"you cant have everything go your way...life aint perfect..no ones perfect. If everything was perfect, there wouldnt be ppl dying, nor would there be poverty in this world. You sorta got to live with what you got ...and make the best out of it. And from an optimistic point of view...it could be much worse...Im not totally an optimist, so yeah..i dont trully believe in that....what i do believe is...at times...it could have been worse...but...it could have been better. All one can do is try their hardest and hope...HOPE for a favourable outcome. One good example would be...a doctor. For some reasons im pluckin all my examples from scrubs. But imagine being a doctor...and you have treated your patient with all the right stuff...followed the correct procedure...and yet your patiend dies.As Dr Cox might say...."the difference was luck" sometimes you are just lucky....and sometimes your not. You cant do anything about it, even though you tried your best...you might still lose...so...thats all you can do...Though its really sad to hear that....but thats just how life is. Sometimes...all you can do is try your best and rely on luck, and hope things turn your way.

As for the past,its good to reflect on it at times, as you can let it be a lesson, for all the mistakes you have made...dont make them again. Use it as a guidance for the present and the future and it will make you stronger.